


the squeaky chair

by rileyhart



Series: I Love You. So Much. [1]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Comedy??, F/M, Fluff I guess, Pre Show, Pre-Relationship, basically these two were flirting and in sync with each other before they even realised, jake has a squeaky chair and it's pissing amy off, so she faces him with a challenge, theyre not even self declared friends at this point i mean!!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 19:45:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14088321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rileyhart/pseuds/rileyhart
Summary: jake's chair has been squeaking for the past week. amy has reached her last tether.so she proposes him with something he can not deny: a challenge.





	the squeaky chair

Amy Santiago could beat Jake Peralta at anything if she wanted to. She’s sure of that.

The only exception, the only award he could beat her for? Most annoying human being on planet earth.

She’s sitting at the desk across from him, gritting her teeth as he spins on his chair just enough to make it squeak.

It had started squeaking a week ago, something which most people would hate, but Jake had been delighted at.

“Hey, Santiago, listen to this!” he had said, spinning around on his chair so that it let out a long loud squeak.

She looked up from her paperwork, putting down her pen. “What are you doing, weirdo?” she asked him.

“It squeaks!” he sais delightfully, making it squeak again.

“Congratulations, Peralta” she said sarcastically, smiling, “you have a shitty chair.”

But Jake just grinned back broadly, and got up, coming round to sit on the edge of her desk. “Oh, Santiago,” he said, mock wisely, “you have no idea the power I have now.”

She opened her mouth to reply, but Charles appeared out of nowhere. “The sexual tension between two is _staggering_.” he said, putting a weird amount of emphasis on the word ‘staggering’.

“Ugh, Boyle,” they both said simultaneously.

“Get out,” Jake told him, pushing him away; getting up himself and walking away.

Amy rolled her eyes and goes back to her paperwork.

She’s been working at the Nine Nine for almost seven months now. Jake’s her deskmate and her partner in most cases, and Boyle seems to think they’re destined to be wed (he had literally said this within seconds of them meeting). Over her dead body would she marry Peralta though. They’ve built up a pretty intense rivalry over the past few months, hence Jake’s determined squeaking throughout the week. She _knows_ he’s trying to get a rise out of her.

He spins around fully and the chair squeaks so loudly that Amy is sure the dogs in China can hear it.

She slams down her pen.

“Alright Peralta,” she says angrily, “give it up.”

He stops spinning and feigns innocence. “Stop what?”

“You know what!”

“No, I don’t, but whatever it is, I’ll stop. You just need to tell me what.”

She glares at him, before standing up. “Sarge!” She yells at Terry. “Tell Peralta to stop his chair squeaking! I can’t concentrate!”

“I’m not doing that anymore, Santiago,” Terry replies, “I’m not solving anymore arguments between you two. You’re two grown adults, sort it out yourselves!”

“Fine,” she says, pursing her lips; she looks down at Jake. “Peralta,” she says as nicely as she can muster (and it almost kills her). “How about we swap chairs?”

“Let me think,” he says, stroking a fake beard. He spins around in his chair and stands up. “I think I’ll pass but thank you for the offer.”

By now everyone in the precinct is watching them (Hitchcock and Scully are eating popcorn, too).

“That’s ridiculous.” she says, crossing her arms. “My chair is far superior to yours.”

“What? No it’s not!”

“Uh, yeah it is!”

“Then why are you the one trying to trade?” he points out, and Amy glares at him.

But she has one more trick up her sleeve. Smiling, she leans over the desk slightly. “Fine, then,” she says with a smirk and a head tilt, “I challenge you for it.”

The entire precinct ‘oohs’ at this and Rosa says, “Power move, Santiago, respect.”

(It’s the nicest thing she’s said to Amy the entire time she’s worked there.)

“Alright, alright,” Jake says to the precinct. He turns back to Amy, “Challenge accepted, Santiago.”

Amy offers her out her hand and Jake shakes it. “Winner gets your far inferior chair.” she says.

“Guess I’ll be keeping it then,” he replies.

“You keep thinking that,” she tells him.

* * *

The next thing was to work out what the challenge was going to be exactly.

(Jake suggests that the challenge should be to come up with a challenge, Amy almost agrees to this before realising this means Jake wins by default. “You almost fell for it though!” he says grinning, point at her. She just rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling.)

It’s Terry (and Hitchcock and Scully) who give them the idea.

“You two seriously need to get of those chairs once in a while,” Terry says to Hitchcock and Scully as he walks past them.

Jake and Amy turn to stare at each other, both grinning broadly, the same idea in their minds.

“Stay in the chair—” Amy begins.

“—for as long as possible.” Jake finishes for her.

She nods. “Bathroom breaks?”

He thinks for a moment. “Every three hours?”

She nods again. “That seems fair. But you have to roll the chair all the way into the stall.”

“Well, duh,” Jake says, grinning at her.

“Ready?” she asks (neither aware of how flirtatious their tones have become).

“I was born ready.” Jake replies, and the two sit down in their chairs, not breaking eye contact with the other for a second.

Rosa, watching with Charles from the other side of the precinct, turns to him. “Those two need to bone bad.”

“Thank you!” he yells, standing up. “Somebody said it!”

* * *

The first couple of hours go smoothly. Jake and Amy find it quite fun to roll around in the chairs. They roll up and down the precinct, playing a version of bumper cars with the chairs. Jake interrogates someone in his chair, and Amy interviews a witness.

“Look, as your superior officer, I need to tell you two that you can’t do this forever,” Terry says to them.

“You told us to work it out on our own, Sarge,” Jake says, “and that’s what we’re doing.” Amy nods in agreement.

“Plus McGlintly said it was fine,” Amy adds, “he even praised us for taking initiative.”

Terry sighs and heads back to his desk.

* * *

It’s after the first bathroom break that things begin to slow.

“Ugh, your butt must be as sore as mine,” Amy moans, her head on her desk.

“My butt is great actually,” Jake lies. “Far superior to yours,” he adds cheekily.

She rolls her eyes. “You’re so annoying when you quote myself back to me.”

“Really? I thought it turned you on.”

Amy groans and throws a wad of sticky notes at him.

* * *

The clock ticks past the end of their shift.

“What do we do now?” she asks.

Jake puts his feet up on his desk. “I’m here all night.”

“Bring it on, Peralta.”

“Oh, I’m bringing it. I’m bringing it _all the way_.”

* * *

Charles returns shortly after leaving.

“Amy!” he says excitedly. “I passed the pen store on the way home! They’re having a two for one sale!”

Amy looks at him excitedly. “Which pen store?!”

“Uh, um, the one near my house… it’s just called ‘The Pen Store’.”

Amy looks at him suspiciously, and then turns to Jake. “You put him up to this.”

“God damn it, Boyle!” Jake says.

“I’m sorry, Jake,” Charles says, “I’m not good under pressure. I once bought an alpaca because they told me they only had one left.”

“What?” Jake says. “Don’t worry about it, Charles, just go home. Shift’s over.”

“Ha! You’re panicking, Peralta!” she says delightfully, pointing at him.

“I’m not panicking.”

“Yeah, you are. That was a poor tactic. Your butt must be very sore.”

“My butt is fine. My butt is better than fine. It _loves_ to sit. My butt is in butt heaven right now.”

“Oh your butt—” Amy starts, but Terry interupts her.

“Can you two stop saying the word ‘butt’?!” he exclaims.

“Sorry, Sarge!” Jake says, spinning around in his chair. “Is ‘ass’ better?”

“You know it’s not!”

“Right, sorry,” Jake says quickly, turning around in his chair.

* * *

They’ve been sitting for eight hours now. Jake is snoozing on his desk and Amy is reading a book by her desk.

She watches him over the top of her book, and then smiles as an idea comes into her mind.

She wheels herself to the supply closet, leaving the door open to help her claustrophobia. She finds what she’s looking for — a feather duster.

She rolls herself back into the precinct and comes up behind Jake, reaching out tentatively to tickle him with the feather duster.

He wakes up and jumps out of his chair instinctively, laughing.

“Ha!” Amy shouts. “Ha! You’re out of your chair! I win! Amy Santiago is the winner!”

“What?! No!” Jake protests. “That’s cheating!”

“Uh-uh, Peralta, we _never_ said tickling was against the rules. I win, fair and square.” she says proudly, before getting out her chair. “ _God_ , it feels good to stand.”

“Cheater.” he says.

“Winner.” she corrects him, grinning proudly. “Now hand it over, Peralta.”

Sighing, he pushes his chair towards her, and she rolls it around to her desk.

She sits down in it, and turns slightly. It squeaks.

“Now, I can control the squeaking.” she says happily.

She stands back up (her butt is _very_ sore), and looks at Jake, who seems... happy?

“What?” she asks him.

“Nothing,” he says, but he’s smiling.

“I won, you lost. This is my victory.” she says. “You shouldn’t be smiling.”

Jake picks up his bag and shakes his head. “Nothing,” he repeats, still smiling.

He heads over to the elevator and Amy follows him, stopping at the bullpen gate. “Jake! What is it?” she asks as he waits by the elevator.

“You realise that you just spent eight hours in a sit off so that you could ‘win’ a chair that is wayyyy shittier than the one you had to begin with?”

She gapes at him and he steps into the elevator. “Yeah, but I control the squeaking now! I can annoy you! I won!”

“But did you?” he asks as the elevator doors shut.

She stands, shocked, staring at the closed elevator.

She just got played by Jake Peralta.


End file.
